I’ve been in a season where I have been waiting to find my next job to be a pastor. All of us wait for things, could be a husband, a job, a boyfriend, which college you will get into. The things we long to do, that just have no opened up yet. Often this time…
I’ve been in a season where I have been waiting to find my next job to be a pastor. All of us wait for things, could be a husband, a job, a boyfriend, which college you will get into. The things we long to do, that just have no opened up yet. Often this time of waiting is filled with a lot of “no’s.” Personally, I thought that finding my place would be easy. God showed me this path, so it should open right up, right? Well, not actually. Instead, I have just had one door closed after the other.
When we face so many no’s and rejection, it wears on our self-esteem. Makes us question if it will ever happen, and causes seasons of discouragement. So what do you do when you get a yes, but It ends up requiring you to say no?
Often, when we finally get a YES. Even a small yes, a little win, but something that makes us feel hopeful. We think “maybe this will be the thing that works out, that turns the tide.” Then you walk through that door and there is an unsettling, a knowing that this probably isn’t the place for you? What do you do then?
Well, this just happened to me. I just got a second small part time job, but I really liked the vibe and I felt like I belonged. After a lot of rejection, it felt really great to be accepted as part of the group. Then a few days in, I started noticing some things that don’t really align with who I am now or who I want to be. Most of the people are great, but there are a few that are really sketchy. Like those who send off your Spidey senses.
I could ignore it, but it comes back to the question: would God send us somewhere that is fundamentally incongruent with who we are when it is not part of our calling? Probably not. In my circumstance over Easter weekend, I actually saw a few employees openly parade around the job, mocking Jesus, pretending to preach the message.
We must use wisdom in where we plant ourselves. With no base or support it is easy to get pulled down into the snares of the enemy. In this place, we become hardened to the sin and used to the toxicity. I know for sure, where I stand now, with my eyes open and my mind on Jesus, that Jesus wants us to be careful about the company we keep.
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Cor 15:33
In reflection about this place I have ended up in, why did it feel good if it was bad? I had this idea this place is like Hotel California, the place where your desires snare you, but it looks good, feels comfortable and seems nice, but it is a place of entrapment and complacency.
It took about 2 weeks for this to get revealed and it peaked on Easter, the most Holy day of ours, I started hearing and seeing things that were straight blasphemy. Depending on your level of faith and background, you may say, that sounds awful, I would have walked out? Well would you? What does it say about your character when you just quit without notice? What about the nicer people there? Is it really that bad? I’m saved, so what does it matter? What if I was sent there to save them? Well for people pleasers like me, and someone who wants to be included, it doesn’t feel that easy to just walk out. I was so hopeful this would be a good place. I actually really like a few people there and a lot of aspects of the job. It is way calmer and on day 2 they included me. It has been so long since I have felt like part of the team. So the thing I wanted the most, to feel like I belong, was given to me, but it is a snare.
Something that ties into all of this is I’m a natural people pleaser, growing up with an alcoholic mom, people pleasing and co-dependency are a thing. Preforming, keeping people happy, and being above reproach. But God is clear that we are to evangelize to all people, but we are not to partner with people who are non-believers. I didn’t really take it seriously in a part time job, but I can tell you, to the non-believers, blasphemy is just a joke. How long until you start to believe that too? That you start compromising your integrity and the Holy Spirits conviction in you? Blaspheming God, having a heart hardened toward God, is the only unforgivable sin.
“Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.” Matthew 12:31
When we are faced with these types of things, the wrestling begins between our desires and God’s will for us. Listening to God and knowing He wants us not to step into snares and while facing our human desires is a battle between flesh and spirit.
Maybe it’s not a job that is a snare for you. Maybe it’s the guy/girl you have been waiting for. You desperately want to find someone. At first you meet someone new and it felt great, they checked all the boxes and then after a bit you start to notice warnings signs. But you want someone, you don’t want to be alone and you don’t want to feel the disappointment and wait for the next one. I’ve been there too. I literally heard God tell me “no” about a guy I was dating and I didn’t listen. It became a huge entanglement that took me years to get over.
If I can tell you anything, the “no,” the disappointment that the thing that feels good, needs to go, is for your own good. God does not send thing that tempt us, that are unhealthy or cause deep unease or chaos. We can go back and forth about why maybe it will be good enough, but when it is good enough there are no questions and its easier. It gives you the fortitude to stand when it is tough.
So, what do you do when you get a “no” after the door has opened? What do you do when this is literally another “no” on top of a series of “no’s”. It’s exhausting, it is scary, but God is faithful. We need to trust in our inner knowing that is given to us by the Holy Spirit. If it feels wrong, it is. And we need to trust God.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28
I am literally typing this before I have even given my notice at this new job. I have been wrestling, telling myself maybe it will get better. But why would I want it to? People, jobs, things show you who they are. Believe it when they tell you. If someone tells you they are a bad person, believe them. It doesn’t mean God cannot redeem them. But it does mean, it is not someone you bind yourself to.
Being a Christian means we think and live differently. I can tell you, a secular person would not quit a job over people who are influenced by the enemy. They would say ignore it. But it is way easer to get dragged down, then it is to drag anyone up. We are set apart, told not to sin, and have devoted our lives to Christ.
There is no room for blasphemy from multiple people you work with. It is showing you the culture. I literally had 3 different people say or do outrageous things on Easter Sunday. Enemy showed his hand, do I listen? Can I release and give up what was a hopeful thing? Can I trust God has a reason? But more importantly can I be trusted to listen to God when he says no? Can I be obedient to the knowing he puts in my heart? Or do I serve my own insecurities and feelings?
Listen, it doesn’t mean this is easy, it means it is real. You will find yourself walking through a door you shouldn’t. TURN AROUND. Yea, it may be humbling, or embarrassing or you may have to say I made a mistake. But would you choose to be ensnared again, in some other issue because you didn’t want to look stupid or let someone down? We have discernment for a reason. It won’t always feel good, but if we want to serve God, we have to release ourselves from the prisons we walk right into. God gives is the ability to to that, even with our internal wrestling.
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation, he will also provide a way of escape, so that you may be able to endure it.” I Cor 10:13
I wrote this today, because I know we all will go through this. I have done the wrong thing so many times in the past. I hope when you read this you understand that God is good. He is not hiding his will for you. He doesn’t send you in to dark places before you are ready and equipped and called to do so. He wants you to have healthy jobs, relationships. But God has to lead, so when the “no” is after you walk it, you may be scared, but you MUST walk out. I get it, its not fun, but I promise, if you don’t, it will be way, way worse down the line.
I’m going to close this with a prayer and then provide some more some scripture for you to reflect on.
Dear Jesus,
Bless those who read this. Whose hearts are wrestling with a situation that they had hoped for that you are showing should be let go of. Given them the strength to surrender to you, to trust you, to know your plan is to never harm us and to prosper us. Give them the courage to know that your peace is accessible and that chaos is never from you. Hope and healing comes from you alone. May we not grab onto the first thing that comes along and when we do grab onto something that is not ours, give our hearts, souls and minds the courage to let go, to back track and to be willing to know that it is not your will for us to have. Thank you for your provision, for you allowing us to partner with you in our lives. May our will and minds be aligned in all things with you. Bless us with people that speak life and truth into our hearts and situations and may your scripture remind us that your words are a lamp to our feet, they are good, they guide us and lead us to your peace.
-Amen
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
Psalm 1, NIV
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
